I have been thinking about that exchange since. I do believe I have mellowed some, being less tied to schedules than in the past, more patient and with less of an edge. And I sense that’s a good thing. There may yet be more mellowing ahead. However upon reflecting I have come to appreciate that in spite of my faults (then and now) I accomplished much. Indeed I was (and probably at my core remain) a “type A” personality. In my work in business over the years I became a “go to” person, one who was looked to for help, as a problem solver and team player, and I was rewarded with steady growth in my career there.
Today I have been thinking about Peter…you know, the man who denied Christ after the crucifixion. “I do not know the man” is the phrase that I recall. I know Peter was being asked about Jesus, but today, I wonder if we might consider that he was saying that he did not know the man who he, Peter, had been, that perhaps he too, was dismissing a part of himself.
I don’t think God has in mind our ever dismissing any part of us. If we have sinned – in the times we have sinned – we still carry that. Memory of our failings continues to shape us as we move into the future. Today on TV I saw a young man interviewed who had served time in prison for having driven drunk, and as a result having taken the life of a teenaged boy. He admitted his guilt in court. He has come to terms with the horrific deed and it both haunts and molds him today.
Some years ago I wrote a poem about Peter. Today I feel yet another level of kinship. I have posted the poem on the poetry page if you care to read it.
[I also posted three photos today.]